A recently new friend hosted a pool party & BBQ last night at his home. He and his partner are very nice. There were a other few people I had previously met through the Black & White Men Together group. This was supposed to have been somebody in NYC’s birthday. They (whoever they were) were flown down, stayed at the Eden Roc (historic hotel on Miami Beach) then, had this pool party. At least that’s how I understood it. Only a couple of the several guys from NYC were friendly, the others went off into some corner of the yard and kept to themselves.
I know I’m not a person to go walking up introducing myself to people in such a cases unless I’m the host. I was really bothered by the lack of friendliness. I was the only one in the pool for a long time. After I got out and ate something and tried to get involved in some conversation did I hear a splash and then I got back in the pool. I preferred swimming to being ignored. I was actually getting upset and then I just said, fuck them.
It seemed most everyone there was coupled with somebody and, that’s often the case at BWMT gatherings since they have social gatherings in people’s homes. I’ve met a number of friends thru this group but, I haven’t become a member nor do I want to. Maybe my reason(s) aren’t valid but, I don’t want to be a member of a queer group and I find some of the members not the kind of people I would like to associate with if I met up with them on the street. Even though I’ve found a few people I do like being around I continue to be uneasy around many queer men.
One interesting and funny thing happened last night though. One of the guys I met a while ago and haven’t talked to much started talking about my swimming lessons. Then he said I should give him lessons, as he inched closer. I wasn’t thinking much about the moving closer until he said it several times. He must have had too much to drink for real because there just ain’t no way I’d be interested in such a lame, last minute come on. He’d been there as long as me and stayed aloof the whole time. I had thought about drinking to loosen up my talking too but, you know what, that’s a bad idea. Drinking around friends is one thing but, drinking because you think it’s gonna help in a social situation is foolish.
Even though I’ve met some nice guys at the BWMT functions, I’ve only gone to bed with one of them. He was there last night but, I don’t think we could be anything more than friends (that don’t have sex). Hearing him talking to one of his friends about one of his sexual exploits while we were hanging out for the day was definitely a turnoff. The only other guy I was attracted to was with his partner. Oh well. I guess bars are the only place to meet guys even though I don’t like bars.