Reticence

I am a person that does not like to complain, unless it’s warranted. I don’t get into telling all the tragic events of my life. I am rather self-reflective and, sometimes to the point of not acting or reacting quickly enough to situations. I guess that’s navel-gazing, right? Anyway, I need to be more proactive and use my experience and resourcefulness to dig myself out of my current emotional, physical, and financial situations.

My co-worker, also prof. of photography, was in his office yesterday. We had a long talk about teaching and my frustrations. Of course, he’s got his frustrations with teaching as well. Only difference is, he’s tenured. He knows how to make me feel good. He restated that he wanted me there teaching alongside him. The previous photo prof., my former academic advisor when finishing my BFA, also wanted me here to replace him. Too bad the Dept. Head doesn’t seem to want to fill the position that was left behind. I don’t teach Pre-Colombian Art Hist. (like my previous prof.), but I do other things. I feel so restricted in a way that makes me think this has been a bad career choice.

I can’t plan a single thing in my life past Dec., 2004 and, even up to that time things are tenuous.

I did call my geology prof. to set up some times to do some photos of fossils in his office. I’m excited about finally getting that going. I really want to get that done. I would love to take another course with him. He gets me excited about a very difficult subject. Of course, it helps that he’s very handsome…